Sunday, June 19, 2011

Would Have Been; Could Have Been

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything for you
I want you
I need you
I want to believe you
I wanted you
I needed you
I wanted to believe you




"I still miss you, but not like I did before. The intense aching I felt isn't there anymore. I still whisper your name, though not as often as I used to. Now it may be once before the day is through. I still hear your voice replaying in my mind, but it's fading now. Soon, silence I will find. I still long for you, to feel your touch, but it's not like before. I don't dream it as much. I still think about you and wonder how you are, but my feelings have changed and they don't go as far. I still feel you sometimes. Maybe you're thinking of me or maybe it's just a little memory of how it used to be. I still love you but it's just not as strong because I'm letting you go now, so we can both move on. You still have a piece of my heart because I always feel you here. Now I'm hoping and praying that that, too, will quickly disappear. This will be my last goodbye, I've nothing else to say. Everything I felt for you can now just fade away."

Monday, June 6, 2011

A Friendly Shout Out

I just need to give  a shout-out post to all my friends!! (Although only some of them might end up reading this) They are seriously the BEST!! and I am so grateful and appreciative of everything they have done for me this past week!

Kyle Stringam
Kyle was the first person I hung out with when I got home on Saturday. I havn't laughed so hard for a long time! We were able to catch up, act like gangsta's (we may or may not have unleashed the inner thug that night), busted some moves &  laughed our faces off.  Kyle is seriously SOOO great and I love him SO much!! He is the most kind, funny, loving, generous guy around! We are so tight and comfortable around eachother and can talk about anything. We are going to have an awsome summer, I know it!

Brad Bogdan
I met my new friend Brad at the Flash Mob dance party on my first night back and I knew right then that we would be best friends when he showed me how to booty pop like Beyonce. He also taught me how to Dougie and we mosh pit danced on the sidewalk in front of cars.  I would also like to add that we did like a 10 minute duet dance in the middle of a parking lot but unfortunatly my camera didnt record it!! believe you me, it was GOOD!! He also has an awsome testimony! I loved listening to this guy bear his testimony in sacrament today! He's the best!

My Cheeky friends! hahah!

Tyler Orr
Tyyyyyler Orr... He's my favorite! Wanna know why?? Cause he's always down for anything, anytime. If you ever get the chance, ask him about the time we stole a 10 ft church canoe and sunk it in a ditch. He tells the story way better than I do haha. Ty is so chill and so fun and so caring. I was going through a rough time on Sunday and I was talking to him. I was clearly not in any condition to leave my room, but he told me he was going to be here in 2 minutes.  I threatened him.  so he gave me 3 minutes to get ready... then showed up at my house 30 seconds later.  I answered my door bawling while eating cake out of a pan and he just laughed at me and gave me a hug while I called him names, and proceeded to take me to a party.  I really am thankful for him though.  Our heart to hearts, his open ears and advice are much appreciated.  Ahh I love that kid! I also have to mention that him and Payton's theories and advice and stories (Payton and the trench coat hahah) make me laugh sooo hard! Such wisdom these men posess...

Cam Mendenhall

(This is the only picture I have... that's awkward...)
We have competitions to see who is the most awkward. Cam wins. Hands down. But I don't think I'm far behind... Cam's massage story can't be beat.  He just makes me laugh all the time. And he's also good at soccer so I automatically like him.

Jordi Johnson
I'm pretty sure Jordi is the coolest guy around.  He's so chill and funny! He came out to play soccer with me on Monday and we had a really good time! Then we got to go pig out on Wendy's spicy chicken sammiches. mm mmm our fav! And then we have had a couple movie nights and a House marathon. I also got recruited onto Jord's co-ed soccer team for the summer and I'm so stinkin excited!! I love how Jord is down for anything, but I especially appreciated the chill nights we have had cause that is exactly what I needed! Love ya Jord!

Valena Bevans
I seriously can't express how much I love and appreciate Valena!! I am very picky about the girls I hang out with for some reason... but the first time I met Valena, we just clicked! Luckily, her and Shawn moved out to Saskatchewan for the January semester and we he kept eachother sane. We found a cheap gym to go to in Saskatoon and encouraged eachother to go. It was nice to have that girl time, and we had our sides splitting as we died laughing at our silly girl emotional breakdowns of the week.  We would compare whos was more pathetic, but it would also make us feel better knowing we were both equally ridiculous. (I think my favorite is still the oreo cookie fiasco haha) Her and Shawn are back in Alberta now too so we plan on hanging out alot more.  Our girls day on Thursday was just what I needed.  A little window shopping, a little book store browsing (I keep thinking about that book we read from cover to cover and it makes me giggle... ahh so funny...), V introduced me to a new delicious drink from a secret little cafe (I'm really craving another one! Those were so yummy!!), we transfered our gym membership over to the Lethbridge fitness gym, and then we talked and talked til 10 pm.  Seriously.. my jaw was killing me afterwards.  I'm not used to girls nights and talking that much hahah. Anyways.. You're amazing V-slice and I love ya! You don't know how much I appreciate everything you have done!

Julie Hatch (soon to be Duce =D )

Julie and I have known eachother for a while but we only really became friends last year.  She would always come visit me in Spring and we would dicuss our most recent boy drama. haha there was always something to talk about.  We swore we would hang out every time we saw eachother... and then never got around to it. Typical us. haha but she is so great! She has been my moral support lately. I love her to bits!! And I'm so excited for my dear Julie to be getting married!!

Becky Sparks

Refer to here to see why I love her.  I consider Becky to be my best friend.  I wish we lived closer becuase it's so hard to feel included in eachothers lives when we arent together. But she does a fantastic job at keeping in touch; we are pretty good at checking up on eachother.

Soccer Crews

I love soccer SO much!! This summer is going to be the BEST EVER!! Not only because I have amazing friends, but because I get to play soccer multiple times a week! I get to play soccer with some Raymond buddies a couple times a week,  I have my Co-ed soccer every Tuesday and my Womens league every Wednesday. Ahhh life is great...

Spring Girls



I am sooooo happy to be back at work!! I forgot just HOW MUCH I loved working there! I don't know how I ever convinced myself to leave! It has been nice to be able to catch up and work with them. The girls are so funny, so nice, so gorgeous, and I love 'em so much! I also love working with my customers.  I had an experience the other day when a lady randomly told me she recognized me from Spring and told me she remembered me from a year ago because I was so nice and helpful.  It just put a smile on my face to know that I brightened someone's day a year ago & they remembered an act of kindness or a good deed (even though I was just doing my job)

Anyways... I just wanted to express how much I love and appreciate everything my friends have done for me this past week.  I honestly wouldn't have been able to get over this trial of mine without them.  There are alot of people I didn't mention, that are still really amazing people that have helped bring sunshine into my life, but the people I mentioned in this post are the people who have specifically been influencial to me this week.


I listened to this song on Lauren Cooper's blog and I really liked it.  (Hope you don't mind I yoinked it. It seemed fitting to how I'm feeling these days)

Church was really good today!! I am so glad I went to the YSA ward and I'm so grateful for everyone's testimonies! The spirit was so strong. I even bore my testimony =) I'm usually too shy to get up in front of everyone.. but the sun was shining, my friends were there, I could feel the love and special spirit present, and I was in a really good mood! It just made me really reflect on my life and how lucky I am to have friends and family that love & care about me. I'm thankful for my trials too because I have seen how strong I am. It gives me the confidence to know that I can do hard things, overcome and grow from my experiences

Guess what. I'm going to be in Arizona in 18 hours. Yahoo!!!! It still hasn't sunk in that I'm going to be soaking up the sun for a week and having the time of my life with more family and friends! Daaahh... I love my life!

P.S. I plan on doing this.  It's goin down. Believe it.